Mastering self-care, here’s what you need to know.
Allowing yourself downtime and mastering self-care will increase your progress.
Mind blown much?
I get it because if you told me this before, I’d never believed it.
Like ever. As if I needed to master self-care?
And I’m still trying it on for size.
I have days where my old thoughts jump back in, saying, “No, Gemma, you need to do all of the things now to get to where you want.”
It’s ok these thoughts still come into my brain because I’ve learnt I’m not in a rush.
I don’t judge my thoughts, I let them be there, but I choose not to pay attention to them anymore.
But over to you,
Have you ever thought…
- The harder I work, the further I’ll get
- I can’t be lazy
- I’ll take a longer lunch break tomorrow, but today I’ll work through it
And then tomorrow comes.
Then what? Do you work through lunch again?
Plus, you miss your 6 pm gym class because you’re still working…
If you can relate to any of the above, then I’m talking to you.
Forever I’ve been struggling with fatigue.
It comes on and off in waves.
I work so hard, constantly pushing and striving for more.
And it’s all because I’ve always had thoughts that hard work produces results.
Lazy people are wrong, and the list goes on.
Yet, I always thought these thoughts serve me.
They’ll get me to where I want to be, and I’ll get success, achievement and fulfilment.
But what I’ve learnt is they won’t. And these thoughts won’t get me mastering self-care.
I know I sound insane but stay with me.
Telling yourself you can’t be lazy means you don’t allow yourself downtime.
Working hard means I’ll never allow myself to slow down.
When I take a break, all it does is drive guilt, which creates fatigue.
Can you relate?
Earlier, I told you my fatigue comes in waves. But they’re more like tidal waves.
When I get tired, it consumes me.
I go to the doctor, and of course, they tell me it’s probably a virus.
But after blood tests, there are no results. It’s never because I’m sick.
I’m healthy.
So what is it then?
My friend, it’s all in your thoughts. Mine as well.
My thought about “I can’t be lazy” drives me to absolute burnout.
I’m exhausted mentally and pulling at any bit of energy to do anything.
Plus, I know that I’m not producing at my best. I then go into beating myself up.
So not only am I physically exhausted, but my mind is indulging in negative emotions.
It takes up a lot of mental and mind space.
Do you still relate?
So then, what did I learn about mastering self-care?
Well, first of all, I wasn’t allowing myself ever do it.
I thought I was, but in my downtime, my mind wasn’t in it.
So I never allowed myself to rest and take a decent break.
And without allowing myself to rest, burnout came with it.
- Work through your lunch breaks?
- Take work home
- Do you work at late hours of the night?
It’s ok if you do. Because I’ve always done it too because I thought it was the right thing to do.
But I’ve learnt it’s the wrong thing to do for me.
How can I perform at my best if I never let myself switch off?
To rest my mind so it can think, focus and be at its greatest.
And by best I mean during working time and personal as well.
Late last year, I chatted with Kate Toon on my podcast at Work Wife Wine Time. And we talked about all things running a business.
I asked her what her hobbies are. And she replied by saying. she never had any until recently.
Everything was her business.
She realised she needed to allow herself time. It was perhaps mastering self-care, if you will.
I’m sharing this with you because I know you’re not alone.
You probably do the same thing, right?
You’re busying yourself more with unnecessary work to fulfil your thoughts of hard work.
If you find yourself overworking, slow down.
I know you’re thinking, but it’s all about working hard.
If you don’t put in the time, then you won’t get the results.
I hear you.
And I’m still often you, but I’m changing it.
As I said above, if I don’t allow myself to rest, everything becomes challenging, overwhelming, and stressful.
And all for no reason.
Now, your business isn’t going to be rainbows all the time.
But you want it to be fun, enjoyable and fulfilling.
Not driving you into regular brunt out.
So then, how did I go about mastering self-care?
I created a self-care and time off routine for myself.
I schedule it into my calendar, so I make sure I take it.
Further to this, I’m practising constraint.
Sound ridiculous?
It’s not because I need to constrain, so I take time off when my calendar tells me to.
Otherwise, I won’t do it, and I’ll find myself “something” else in my business to do.
And after a while of constraining, my brain will form the habit.
When I get to my lunch break time, I take it no matter what.
Even If I haven’t finished my current task, and that’s ok.
But I make sure I give myself an hour to eat, move around outside and maybe listen to a podcast.
I put myself first. Why? Well, working through a lunch break isn’t looking after myself.
My body needs a break, food and sunlight.
And here’s another mind blow moment for you.
I’m super productive in the afternoon now, as much as in my mornings.
Now over to you,
Ready to begin mastering self-care?
Is taking a break something you want to practise more?
Journal and delve into what thoughts you have about working and running a business.
From there, sit with these thoughts and look at them.
However, please don’t judge them. Even as a coach, you’ll judge your thoughts.
Remember, ask if these thoughts are serving you. And if not, what results are they creating in your life?
Want a guilt-free break? Or, do you want to take a day off and truly enjoy it?
How about reading a book with focus and not thinking about work?
Try it on for size.
I’d love to hear what thoughts you uncover. And how you’re working on changing your habits, so you genuinely create the self-care you deserve.